The Ballad of the Grande Papa

You saw it happen before your eyes.

The Tigers were just 3 precious outs away from getting out of Oakland. We were ready to crack open the bubbly. Hell, you were ready to go to bed, seeing as how it was on the west coast.

But then, it happened.

Our rock, our door slammer, our animated closer took the mound. We all saw something was off by his wind up. It was not what we were used to. It stuttered, not smooth, almost stalling like a bad gear change. Next thing we all knew, the Athletics had walked off to live another day.

We would go on to win the series but we knew something sucked BIG TIME.

Then came Game 1 of the ALCS. We were leading just fine, 3 outs away form taking a 1-0 lead in the series against the Evil Empire. Then.....it happened again.

What was once a guarantee became a nightmare, all the ghosts of Tiger past popping in for a visit, much like your creepy uncle or stubborn grandparents. "We're still here, thought you'd forgotten about us!" And if you're anything like me you know that feeling and it's just scary. Thought you were you but they just PULL YOU BACK IN.

So Ichiro and Lord Imhotep tie the game and Valverde exits the field. We all didn't know how to feel. Granted, we hung in there as you could hear Yankee pride shatter with Jeter's ankle and we went on to sweep the Pinstripes. 

And as the World Series came and went, so did Valverde. I'd like to think after we got swept, Dombrowski asked Valverde to step into a room, only to find out it was a spinning square to send him into the Phantom Zone.

The Tigers embarked on to the offseason, acquiring something called "Torii Hunter, skilled right fielder" and a new drive to win. Even better? No mention of Valverde. Don't get me wrong, he did amazing things for us, but he's on the way out. An unraveling of that size was only inevitable. By graciously letting this man go without fuss was smooth in my opinion. He crapped the bed, we knew it, and we went our separate ways. Then the speculation of our closing came into the spectrum. Oh good, more theories and conjecture. Close by committee? Billy Goat? Robot Closer? I heard it all. I was actually rooting for Rondon to get the spot. I completely disagree with the way he was handled.

Smart move? Sign Valverde for one more year as insurance but give Rondon a shot. If after a month or two he's not working, slot in Valverde and no one's the wiser. But what did they do? All but guarantee Rondon would be the closer, that Valverde will not be contacted in any way and that we're going to coast to the Series. What happens then? Rondon struggles during the time of year when (you guessed it) EVERYONE STRUGGLES and they get nervous. It's the one time in professional sports where it's good to screw up so you know what's wrong and then you fix it. But what to the Tigers do?  Phil Coke blows ONE save, They pee their pants and do the unthinkable: They re-sign Valverde.

The Phantom Zone mirror has been smashed by the sound waves of Tigers brass crying and now Papa has back. He's up with the big club now after some tryouts in the minors AND HAS ALREADY BEEN ANOINTED AS CLOSER UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

This......frustrates me. Not because I'm scared Valverde could surprise us and make us looks like idiots. Rather, we made ourselves look like idiots by handling this thing like a slippery bunch of coconuts. Do I know what's gonna happen? No. Will it be weird if we get into a save situation tonight and he trots out to the mound? Hell yes.

This will be strange, kids. However, don't expect anything to be spectacularly easy in either direction. If Valverde succeeds, we all look like dummies. If he unravels again, we look like fools. Whatever does, happen, I hope we man up and give the ball to Rondon soon. Never know until you try.

Let's see what happens kids!

Want versus Need

For all of us, we have wants.

A new car, a big house, a private island. Hell, I want a real life Iron Man suit. But one of the great lessons we all learn in life is the difference between wants and needs. Of course, I want a huge theater in my apartment, or a tricked out VW Passat. But do I NEED them?

Take the new iPhone. 

Of course I'd love to be up with the latest and greatest in the tech realm but what am I getting really? With the previous Phone I already have the space to shoot video, have a great selection of my music AND have cool movies to watch. In reality I don't need a new phone. What's funny is this applies to other parts of society. In this case, Baseball.

It's at this point you're probably wondering what I'm going on about.

Well, I'll put it plainly:

Detroit. Needs. This. Championship.

Before we go any further, let me shoot down any negative criticism of the Giants. I like the Giants, if I had an NL team, they'd be up there for consideration. And it's nice to see some competitive baseball on the west coast. Plus, keeping this year of baseball craziness going in the Bay Area should serve as a testament that this game works everywhere.

However.....

The Giants went on an awesome run 2 years ago, Fear The Beard and all. It was great to see the childish Rangers beaten to a pulp. But that's just it. The Giants have won RECENTLY. Now before this gets misunderstood, let me be clear: Winning multiple championships isn't bad, in fact I welcome it. 

But where San Francisco WANTS another title, this year Detroit NEEDS a championship. Yes, it's great that the Giants won at Zombie Baseball and that Marco Scutaro is doing well, especially after an MVP series. But whereas the narrative of Marco Scutaro finally going to the World Series is nice, I'm gonna go ahead and say a city finally going back to the World Series is way more appropriate. Back in 2006, we had a run to the fall classic that ended in what looked like a Globetrotters Game. The Giants have already proven themselves to be a team that can get things done in the Postseason. This Tigers team didn't exactly wow the world during the regular season and yes, we did kinda eff around. Detroit hasn't been so successful after 1984 and since the nightmare season of 119 losses, this team needs to return to greatness. Not just for them, but for the city.

We've all seen the positive effects a championship can have on a city. For Detroit, it means a bit more. We all know what the score has been for Detroit. Bad breaks, an absurd crime rate, unemployment and poor leadership have had this city in a death grip. Indeed there's been unfair press. Ranging from certain people posting 10 year old pics of downtown and labeling them as current to FOX and ESPN's gross agenda to somehow always remind everyone of the riots. Or one rival fan's supremely awful post about our star pitcher Justin Verlander. 

But.... 

There is a renaissance going on here. This has been the grand plan Mike Ilitch has had for some time. Use these great teams to bring people back downtown. For the most part it's worked, starting with the Red Wings in 1996. But there's still ground to make up, still work to be done. I'm not saying a Tigers Championship will cure Detroit.

But it sure as shit will help.

Miguel Cabrera: Beast, Machine, and Triple Crown Winner

                          Ok kids, it's been a great run, but Miguel Effing Cabrera just got the first Triple Crown in 45 years. Even without it, the man is the MVP. Mike Trout is a hell of a ballplayer. He's had a great year, but he's the Rook. If he was a second or third year player, we'd have a race. But Trout is setting records as a rookie. Cabby has been putting up comparable numbers FOR 9 YEARS. Machine doesn't even begin to describe. Trout has a great career ahead of him. But there's a reason there's a Rookie of the Year award. I'm not discounting what he's done. But I find it to be completely insane to see "Experts" use Trout's numbers to discount what Cabrera has done, when no one has done that to Trout's numbers. As I've said before, the MVP does have stats considered, but intangibles make the call. In this case, Cabby and Trout have comparable numbers....

But Miguel Cabrera's character has been strengthened, he's a leader, he battles and has matured into an amazing athlete. Trout got called up and grabbed the Bull by the horns. Cabrera has OWNED the Bull for some time now. I know it's real easy to say that Miggy deserves the MVP because the Tigers are in the postseason and the Angels aren't. But yes, the Angels do have the better record. However, I see that record is just 1 game better, so that argument has gone the way of the dodo. Trout is a very big positive for the Angels to take away from this year. He's an outstanding talent and makes the Angels better. Cabrera, however, put the team on his back. He's the player we needed and deserved. Played through injury and WON THE F***ING TRIPLE CROWN.

For this year, we are extremely fortunate to see 2 amazing seasons for 2 great players. It's made me appreciate the game even more than I thought possible. But you can't become "The Best Hitter on the Planet", win a division title and the first TRIPLE CROWN in 45 years and NOT WIN THE MVP. So for this year, 2012, Miguel Cabrera has got to be the MVP. The dude is a monster and has had an above and beyond career year. Si Motherf***er!

Many Happy Returns

Hello again sports fans,

Well, first I'd like to apologize for my absence.

Sorry.

Well that was easy.

Now here's your long overdue update. In short form.

JV has been a little up and down, the Tigers got their shit together to get above 500 with just 5 seconds left in the first half, The Prince won the Tigers the home run derby, JV blew fire in the All Star Game, they swept the Chi-Sox and headed for the road.

Now, I had some time off so I decided to head to Canada to see the Tigres on their field trip to the great white north. This was supposed to be a normal weekend but I wouldn't be writing this post of that's happened.

I arrived in Toronto via train Friday morn. I hate to be all endorser on you, but the train is seriously the way to go. Fairly great food, smooth ride and seats that recline the way that makes most airplane seats feel like brick walls. So the train dropped me off in the middle of town and proceeded to my hotel. I dropped off my stuff and made my way to a very special place to pass the time until I was to attend a baseball game between the Blue Jays of Toronto and the Tigers of Detroit: The Hockey Hall of Fame.

This place is downright cool. Home of the Stanley Cup and a slew of other awards and plaques, it's the valhalla of hockey. Seeing the great hall and all the inductees was quite a treat. Highlights include Gretzky's 802nd goal net, "The Lucky Loonie", a Neal Peart drum kit, a bank vault with the retired cup bands and ORIGINAL Cup, and last but not least, all the funny pictures of Rick Nash in a Blue Jackets Jersey. On a random note, the last time I was there, the souvenir shop was located in what's popularly referred to as a closet. However, wisdom seemed to have touched the people in charge. The store has since been moved to a much roomier space. Though I will admit, there's still an absurd shortage of Denis Lemieux goalie jerseys. I took my picture with the most holy grail of hockey and headed for the dome.

I was excited to arrive, only to be let down by the information that the Hard Rock Cafe inside the stadium had been closed. I'm a big Hard Rock guy so this news hit me hard. But, the show must go on, I dried my tears and headed inside. My seats for the evenings events were much better than expected. 100 level, row 10, even with 3rd base. JACKPOT. Even more to my surprise, I heard my named called as I neared my seat. I turn to my left and see a familiar bushel of hair. That's right kids, none other than the Shakabrodie himself, Ben Christensen. After the most epic Bro hug imaginable, we took our seats for the game.

Now The Tigers would go on to lose the game but something very special happened to make the night not a total bummer.

Miguel Cabrera and Prince Fielder hit back to back jacks for the first time this season. Both home runs equaled roughly a bajillion feet. (don't quote me on that)

The THUNDERCATS went yard and I was content. Once the game concluded, I made the pilgrimage to Wayne Gretzky's restaurant. This place is classy as hell, kudos to the Great One on having such a friendly and awesome place to hang out, regardless of a win or loss. I had as much Molson Canadian as I could then made my journey back to my hotel. However, as I exited the bar, I noticed a man bearing a striking resemblance to Joaquin Benoit. And to my shock, it was actually Joaquin Benoit. I gave him the Detroit Nod and then noticed there was another man at the door, bearing a striking resemblance to Duane Below. And sure enough, it was actually Below! I patted him on the shoulder and said good game. He said thanks man. It's the little things guys that make it all worthwhile. I passed out in my room shortly after.

I awoke the next morning to the sound of room service. I got dressed and proceeded to head back to the Dome for what I hoped to be a Tiger retaliatory victory. To make the day even more special, I was excited to meet up with not just Benji Christensen again, but Captain Canada himself, Dave Barclay. After exchanging information, we headed inside to witness what would turn out to be another Blue Jays victory. Damn Damn Damn.

It was an enjoyable time still though, catching up with Dave and Ben on all the happenings around the league. Did you guys hear about Kristen Stewart cheating on Robert Pattinson? Crazy shit.

Anyways, after another frustrating and baffling Tigers loss, I was on the lookout for ways to soother my pain. In excellent display of Canadian Kindness, Dave Barclay invited Ben and myself to a "Shakespeare in the Park" performance of "A Midsummer Night's Dream". Having never seen this show in any way before, I was more than excited to see it in such an intimate setting. Located in High Park, this little amphitheater was the perfect spot to make me forget that Anibal Sanchez had a very pedestrian debut as a Tiger since being acquired from the Marlins. (Or as I like to refer to them, "The Major League Menards" Great deals, or so you think...)

What followed was one of the best night of theater I have ever witnessed. Forget Broadway, this is the stuff that made Broadway what it is today. A classic performed in an excellent setting. The blankets were comfy, the Coca Cola was flowing like waterfalls, and the Barclays were most hospitable to me, an enemy on home soil. It was a very pleasant evening and I couldn't have for anything more. Except, maybe, you know, a Tigers win. Once again, I made my way back downtown to my hotel and walked past the hotel bar. I saw Austin Jackson, Brennan Boesch, Max Scherzer, Quintin Berry, The Prince and Delmon in the lobby. Convinced I was blitzed beyond repair and seeing things, I stared at each one of them for a good 10 seconds, confirming their identities, then went upstairs to fight dragons in my sleep.

I awoke Sunday morning to head to a local establishment called "The Irish Embassy" for Brunch. This place earned my stamp of approval after one bite of their maple and cinnamon apple pancakes. THERE ARE APPLES IN THE PANCAKES YOU GUYS. I finished this feast for kings and head northwest to the humble abode of Dave Barclay to partake in a Podcast. I arrived at Barclay Manor and was greeted by Dave in his socks and then proceeded to the living room. It is there I would meet a man who needs no introduction, due solely to the fact that I have no introduction for him: Paul Frank. Over the next few hours, Ben, Dave, Paul and myself waxed poetic on a number of topics, ranging from Indiana Jones casting surprises, to Nude Andre Dawson. Yup, you read that correctly. The Tigers would make this trip just that much more worthwhile on the strength of Twisted Doug Fister and Jhonny Peralta's 2 homers. One crazy Podcast and copious amounts of Sour Cream and Onion chips later, It was time to head back south to catch my train back to the States. With a heavy heart and satisfied stomach, I bid my personal versions of Doug and Bob Mckenzie adieu and boarded the bus with Ben.

Getting back to Union Station was a cinch. I said my goodbyes to Shakabrodie, who would continue his journey deep into Mordor, I mean, Montreal. I boarded my vessel knowing the trip was a success and plugged in my earbuds to listen to the soothing tones of Wang Chung and Pearl Jam. As I returned to Windsor, I was greeted by the Detroit Skyline. I was back home.

But this trip made me realize just how awesome following local teams on the road is. Baseball has a side that can only be seen while on the road. Of course you know how your team plays at home, but how does this grand game translate to other regions and cities? Sometimes this game can be all at once foreign and familiar. It's amazing how much your perspective changes when you're in someone else's den. Congrats Toronto, you've made it very easy for me to come back to your fair city.

P.S. Would it kill you to play songs that AREN'T by Rush? How about some Neil Young for cripe's sake!

The Blowtorch Deserved Better

The last time JV took the mound, he threw a near No-Hitter.

His follow up to that performance was just as stellar as he only gave up 2 runs.

However, we could only muster 1 run and The Blowtorch took the loss. I would have liked this to be a grandiose post about how we should have won but there seems to be an abundance of those kinds of posts. To keep things sweet, I'm giving JV an 8 on the Verland-O-Meter. Solely because of his 8th inning performance. Dude reached 102 with his fastball and followed up with an 82 mile an hour Curve. The man can take 20 MILES off a pitch.

Ridiculous.

GOOO TIGERS! Yeah....

The Ballad of the Blowtorch

On a whim, I went to the game last night.

I hadn't been to a game in a few weeks so I felt it was time to take a stroll downtown.

I made my way to the Hard Rock Cafe, took the shuttle to the park and settled into my seat. Now, I know everyone could say this but yesterday I had a feeling about something. I didn't know what it was but I felt like something awesome was going to take place.

You got a friday night, perfect weather, A Tigers game and The Blowtorch is on the mound. It just felt......right.

So as I watched the game, I started to notice 2 things going up on the board: Lots of K's and lots of zeroes.

This was nothing new mind you, this is Justin Verlander we're talking about here. But then in the 7th inning, Garret Jones struck out looking and the ump had quite possibly the most electric strikeout call. I feel like it was similar to this:   STEEEEEEEEEERRRIIIIIKE!

So now, S&^# just got real.

Then in the 8th, The Blowtorch carved up McGehee, Mclouth and Barmes. 3 straight punch outs to launch this game into crazy town.



Now the 9th started and everyone was one their feet. Some were on their chairs. I looked around at the crowd and saw a mixture of cheering, nervousness and camera phones. We all knew what was up and all we needed to do was take the ride. Michael McKenry's ground out made it seem like a sure thing then. Pumped beyond pumped. So in walks Josh Harrison to take his cuts agains the Ace.

With just 2 outs from his third No-Hitter, Justin Verlander threw a mediocre pitch. A mediocre pitch that Josh Harrison was able to dink into center field.

The agony and the ecstasy.

This was me for the next minute:



The No-No was Bye-Bye. But then JV just did what he had been doing all night. Induced some ground balls and gave the Tigers a masterful win. A win they sorely needed to keep pace with the Indians.

The last out was made and the whole team came sprinting on the field to show JV his effort was second to none. The crowd was ecstatic and cheering on the man who just dazzled them with pure domination. All I could do was soak in the moment as JV got the high fives he deserved.

Then in a moment all to brief, the jumbotron camera was turned to Justin. The expression on his face was one of bittersweet determination. Yes, he got the win but he was fully aware of what he lost. With the camera still trained on him JV said empahtically, "I'm Sorry". The epitome of class.

Whether it was meant for the crowd or for someone off camera, I'll reply to JV:

No Apologies Needed My Friend

The Blowtorch threw a one hit shut out with 12 K's. The best thing about this guy? He's only 5 days away from trying again. This rocked the Verland-O-Meter for a 9. Bravo Maestro, Bra-Flipping-Vo.

Go Tigers, Go Verlander, Go Detroit! ThunderCats GOOOOOOOOO

I Guess He's Just What We Needed

So you're in a situation where you need to salvage a split against the A's.

Brandon Inge had been striking with a vengeance and the A's pitching had been surprising. For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction. We put up 10 runs, A's put up 10 runs he very next night.

This was a series that I had hoped would set some things right, I had hoped we could take 3 of 4. But alas, with the whirlwind reunion against Inge and the struggling offense, here the tigers were on the verge of LOSING 3 of 4. 

So again, when you need to split the series, who ya gonna call?

THIS GUY

The MVP, The Ace, The Motor City Blowtorch

Boy oh Boy did this guy throw well. He had 8 K's and threw half a perfect game. I won't waste time spinning the same old yarn about JV. I know he's great, you know he's great, even residents of Asgard know he's great. (Lest we forget, JV is a descendant of the God of Thunder. Don't believe me? Look it up!) (Don't look it up)

The man was on fire and got us the win we needed to split against Oakland. Putting to bed the Inge madness and making us look better, not great, but better. Clutch doesn't even begin to describe.

The man rocks an 8 on the Verland-O-Meter. I hope this guy throw a PG or a NO-NO this year. I want to see if the Verland-O-Meter can take it!

Later this week, I should be able to unveil both my way too early Playoff Bracket AND some crazy trade ideas. Emphasis on the crazy folks, I leave nothing to the imagination. Anyways, Go Tigers and GOOOOO THUNDER CATS!