Wednesday, April 24, 2013

The Ballad of the Grande Papa

You saw it happen before your eyes.

The Tigers were just 3 precious outs away from getting out of Oakland. We were ready to crack open the bubbly. Hell, you were ready to go to bed, seeing as how it was on the west coast.

But then, it happened.

Our rock, our door slammer, our animated closer took the mound. We all saw something was off by his wind up. It was not what we were used to. It stuttered, not smooth, almost stalling like a bad gear change. Next thing we all knew, the Athletics had walked off to live another day.

We would go on to win the series but we knew something sucked BIG TIME.

Then came Game 1 of the ALCS. We were leading just fine, 3 outs away form taking a 1-0 lead in the series against the Evil Empire. Then.....it happened again.

What was once a guarantee became a nightmare, all the ghosts of Tiger past popping in for a visit, much like your creepy uncle or stubborn grandparents. "We're still here, thought you'd forgotten about us!" And if you're anything like me you know that feeling and it's just scary. Thought you were you but they just PULL YOU BACK IN.

So Ichiro and Lord Imhotep tie the game and Valverde exits the field. We all didn't know how to feel. Granted, we hung in there as you could hear Yankee pride shatter with Jeter's ankle and we went on to sweep the Pinstripes. 

And as the World Series came and went, so did Valverde. I'd like to think after we got swept, Dombrowski asked Valverde to step into a room, only to find out it was a spinning square to send him into the Phantom Zone.



The Tigers embarked on to the offseason, acquiring something called "Torii Hunter, skilled right fielder" and a new drive to win. Even better? No mention of Valverde. Don't get me wrong, he did amazing things for us, but he's on the way out. An unraveling of that size was only inevitable. By graciously letting this man go without fuss was smooth in my opinion. He crapped the bed, we knew it, and we went our separate ways. Then the speculation of our closing came into the spectrum. Oh good, more theories and conjecture. Close by committee? Billy Goat? Robot Closer? I heard it all. I was actually rooting for Rondon to get the spot. I completely disagree with the way he was handled.

Smart move? Sign Valverde for one more year as insurance but give Rondon a shot. If after a month or two he's not working, slot in Valverde and no one's the wiser. But what did they do? All but guarantee Rondon would be the closer, that Valverde will not be contacted in any way and that we're going to coast to the Series. What happens then? Rondon struggles during the time of year when (you guessed it) EVERYONE STRUGGLES and they get nervous. It's the one time in professional sports where it's good to screw up so you know what's wrong and then you fix it. But what to the Tigers do?  Phil Coke blows ONE save, They pee their pants and do the unthinkable: They re-sign Valverde.

The Phantom Zone mirror has been smashed by the sound waves of Tigers brass crying and now Papa has back. He's up with the big club now after some tryouts in the minors AND HAS ALREADY BEEN ANOINTED AS CLOSER UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE.

This......frustrates me. Not because I'm scared Valverde could surprise us and make us looks like idiots. Rather, we made ourselves look like idiots by handling this thing like a slippery bunch of coconuts. Do I know what's gonna happen? No. Will it be weird if we get into a save situation tonight and he trots out to the mound? Hell yes.

This will be strange, kids. However, don't expect anything to be spectacularly easy in either direction. If Valverde succeeds, we all look like dummies. If he unravels again, we look like fools. Whatever does, happen, I hope we man up and give the ball to Rondon soon. Never know until you try.

Let's see what happens kids!

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